light & dark

  Photo by Kanashi on Unsplash Boredom is a constant enemy I must face every now and then. Boredom makes me incapable of doing anything. Boredom makes me waste time. Boredom makes me anxious and worried. These days, people try to not be bored. Every moment of their lives has to be filled, with something. As even the static of the television could make a room feel less empty. But with our phones in hand, people aren t as bored as they used to. Because we have the infinite scroll, the never-ending stream of slop of people performing for a few seconds, only to be swiped away for the next dose of slop to take over. This is why I uninstalled social media on my phone. The infinite scroll seem to take away the boredom, but time passes without me doing anything worthwhile. I could have cleaned the kitchen, read another chapter of my readlist, practice my harmonica, something other than waste time. So today was another battle with boredom, and sadly I lost. But thi...

A few weeks ago I started reading a book lent to me by a work friend. It's called Blood Meridian, and old American Cowboy epic which is told like an anthology, but has a main protagonist going through a journey that shows the harshness and cruelty of the frontier in the early United States. And I fucking hate it. It's a depressing story and I felt tired with each passing chapter. Nothing good is ever happening, but when I remembered it's written by the same guy who wrote No Country for Old Men, I understood why this book is so heavy. Photo by Taylor Brandon on Unsplash I kept complaining that nothing good is happening, and no one has a decent bone in their body. But perhaps that was the point? The frontier wasn't kind, and most of the west is desert. A harsh wasteland where people needed to be just like the landscape in order to survive. There was no place for sentiment, loyalty, or any form of altruism. A harsh world create harsh men. If I could take anythi...

I've spent the whole day at work greeting my patients a "Happy New Year!", with enthusiasm I would follow up with how they spent the new year, did they plan anything special, or in any way do anything different. I was sadly met with jaded indifference. Photo by Chris Buckwald on Unsplash   An important lesson I have learned about life is how time affects us, and how little we take the present for granted. The elderly have seen so much, gone through so much, that the only thing they can look forward to is the grave. There will come a time when your body gives up, you become too tired, too bored, too lonely. As you grow old, love ones will die and you sit in your empty house hoping that your children will call. If you are lucky, maybe you'll get a ring once a week, but as with most people maybe not at all. I reflect on the way I treat my parents, how often do I call? I think about my brothers, when have we talked last? Have I had any deeper conversations with my...