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Today I was Bored

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  Photo by Kanashi on Unsplash Boredom is a constant enemy I must face every now and then. Boredom makes me incapable of doing anything. Boredom makes me waste time. Boredom makes me anxious and worried. These days, people try to not be bored. Every moment of their lives has to be filled, with something. As even the static of the television could make a room feel less empty. But with our phones in hand, people aren t as bored as they used to. Because we have the infinite scroll, the never-ending stream of slop of people performing for a few seconds, only to be swiped away for the next dose of slop to take over. This is why I uninstalled social media on my phone. The infinite scroll seem to take away the boredom, but time passes without me doing anything worthwhile. I could have cleaned the kitchen, read another chapter of my readlist, practice my harmonica, something other than waste time. So today was another battle with boredom, and sadly I lost. But thi...
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You Don't Need to Read Blood Meridian

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A few weeks ago I started reading a book lent to me by a work friend. It's called Blood Meridian, and old American Cowboy epic which is told like an anthology, but has a main protagonist going through a journey that shows the harshness and cruelty of the frontier in the early United States. And I fucking hate it. It's a depressing story and I felt tired with each passing chapter. Nothing good is ever happening, but when I remembered it's written by the same guy who wrote No Country for Old Men, I understood why this book is so heavy. Photo by Taylor Brandon on Unsplash I kept complaining that nothing good is happening, and no one has a decent bone in their body. But perhaps that was the point? The frontier wasn't kind, and most of the west is desert. A harsh wasteland where people needed to be just like the landscape in order to survive. There was no place for sentiment, loyalty, or any form of altruism. A harsh world create harsh men. If I could take anythi...
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New Year! So what?

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I've spent the whole day at work greeting my patients a "Happy New Year!", with enthusiasm I would follow up with how they spent the new year, did they plan anything special, or in any way do anything different. I was sadly met with jaded indifference. Photo by Chris Buckwald on Unsplash   An important lesson I have learned about life is how time affects us, and how little we take the present for granted. The elderly have seen so much, gone through so much, that the only thing they can look forward to is the grave. There will come a time when your body gives up, you become too tired, too bored, too lonely. As you grow old, love ones will die and you sit in your empty house hoping that your children will call. If you are lucky, maybe you'll get a ring once a week, but as with most people maybe not at all. I reflect on the way I treat my parents, how often do I call? I think about my brothers, when have we talked last? Have I had any deeper conversations with my...
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Stop Waiting for the Windfall

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There are many things keeping you poor. I've talked about spending habits , but there is another thing specially prevalent in the today's society: betting on a windfall. A windfall  (n.) is defined as a large sum of money received. This could come in many forms: bonus pay, inheritance, or more commonly, lottery winnings. Windfalls are like checkpoints in life; they give you a chance to forget about bills and enjoy life, even for a moment. I remember my earliest windfall: my Christmas bonus check. It was a check on top of my salary, and for the month I received three times what I normally got. I was elated, and before I even got the chance to deposit the check, I was already dreaming up all the things I would buy with the money. A new phone? A new computer? Of course I'd be stopping by Starbucks and treating my family to expensive restaurants. A few weeks later, I was back keeping just above my maintaining balance and waiting for the next paycheck to arrive. What happened ...
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What is Enough?

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I am baffled by how people react when I mention the idea of saving. It's always responded with resistance, as if the systems in place have been designed exclusively for people not to save. People will almost always say: "Yeah, I should save but..." I have bills to pay. I have too much debt. I can't afford to. Or some variation of those excuses. But what I've learned years ago, is that if you have money to spend, then you have money to save. Photo by Emil Kalibradov on Unsplash It was years ago, I was sitting outside my managers office with a folded letter on hand, anxious and second guessing my decision. It was a spontaneous decision, something which I made the night before; but I decided that I finally had enough. I have been working too much, taking in too much responsibility, and for sure wasn't getting paid enough. During that time I was neck deep in car loans, I had about €1,000 in my bank account which was about to get a lot smaller because rent was due...
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Stop Settling

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I woke up with a sense of guilt. “I should be writing/reading/doing…” and all these things are in my notebook. Goals, objectives, to make me feel productive. But for some reason, motivation is absent, and all the momentum I built up in the past few days are just gone. The aftermath is excuses. “I have work in a few hours” or “I can always do things tomorrow” The fallout is, not failure surprisingly, but stagnation. I am the same person I was yesterday. And if I keep this up, tomorrow will be the same story. I started this blog again because I wanted to keep up with the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. That when we moved cities, I will work on the things that held me back from my dreams and be better. I have made progress for sure, but the creative goals are still unchecked. I wanted to learn the harmonica. It's an instrument I bought years ago and have only played once. I have 3 graphic novel ideas that I have yet to write or draw. I have a screenplay th...
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🎶If I had a million dollars🎶

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I was talking to someone at work about housing, and we discussed if buying a house is worth it. In Finland, housing prices are all over the place but you can expect to pay up to €40,000 for a right of occupancy license or up to €100,000 for full ownership. And I'm talking about an apartment complex, not a house. Houses vary in prices, but factoring what you expect about housing, then the idea of  worth it  changes depending on those expectations. What is a house to you? What does it mean? Or represent? Image by M from Pixabay The discussion started with maintenance fees. If you buy an apartment for around €100k, why is the maintenance fee so high? I looked at the listing, it totaled to around €500 per month. I thought it was a good deal, invest 100k on an appreciating market and your housing expense is halved. He argued however, if he had 40k, he might as well just play the stock market and grow his money. He can just work extra shifts to pay for the extra €300 instead of sav...
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