Introspection

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I'm reading more books lately. Not that I am reading more, I have several on my night stand that I re-read along with the things I have in my bag and phone. But I mean, I am reading more books. Not just the books I like re-reading, but I feel like I need to expand my horizon again.

I have been in a rut in terms of the type of information I absorbed, that I boxed myself in into a strange echo chamber, which I feel makes me ignorant of so many things.

I would like to believe I am an expert of some things. At this point, I can give a lecture on Stoic Philosophy, but being knowledgeable in one thing does not make me an expert on all things. This is a fact that most people need to take into consideration when quoting Jordan Peterson or Elon Musk for example. Sure, they can say some very profound things, but a broken clock is right at least twice in a day.

My point is, introspection led me to conclude that I need to read more.

I have been ranting on about finance recently, especially as JM and I have reached a milestone where we can do almost anything we want with little to no impact on our finances. We took a one-week long unpaid vacation driving across Sweden, upgraded the car, and bought new furniture, and we can still say that we are financially afloat.

This was all thanks to me reading a couple of books and taking some very smart advice from people a few months ago. A big downside however is the fact that I am reaching that level of expertise where I know just enough to feel confident about my knowledge but not realize how much I still have to learn.

Image by Angel Hernandez from Pixabay

Some creative people call this “Mount Stupid”.

The Dunning-Kruger effect tells us that some people reach a certain point of competence where their confidence exceeds their actual capacity.

Some guy reads a book on finance, and thinks that he has the authority to tell people what to do because of the modest success he achieved. That guy is me.

I'm not financially independent in the slightest, I still need to work; but I have accomplished enough that I feel I know better than most people.

So this is why I feel I should read more.

The next thing I feel I should do is ask: “What else is wrong with me and how do I fix it?”

Memento Mori says we should remember we shall all die someday, I took this to heart the past few years, I tried rebuilding relationships and be better to the people I cherish. But now that I have some emotional stability, my next introspection leads to a more self-centered endeavor.

It's asking: “What is a better me?”

I tried listing the criteria of what the better me is, and I decided it would be these two:

  1. Grow old not being a burden to the people around me. This means holistically. Avoiding a heart attack or becoming physically disabled is a top priority. And being able to support myself and not need help financially is also included.
  2. Reach my end of life with no regrets. I will not be on my deathbed thinking: “I should have done this when I was younger” so I'm trying a lot of things out. I said I will never ride a rollercoaster, for my birthday I rode the world 3rd largest one. There will be more experiences.

These two criteria means I have a lot of things to focus on, to work on. I can't get comfortable just because I know a thing or two about some things. I could always be better.

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